CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 2

The first thing I saw when I next opened my eyes was L'eiito. I expected nothing else – he barely ever left my side, especially when I was injured and had undergone the Healing. We had been closer than close since the day we met, and he was always there when I woke up from being healed. As always, when he noticed I had opened my eyes, he gave an almost imperceptible half-smile and looked a little relieved.

"My lady awakes," he said softly. "I hope you are faring better now."

He ran his hands back through unusually ruffled shoulder-length black hair. I vaguely noticed it was uncharacteristically loose, falling across his face and eyes. His loose white shirt was creased and open several laces, and he was without his usual black leather jerkin over the top. He looked like he had been here for quite some time.

"How long?" was all I asked. It was the first thing I always asked.

"Two days." L'eiito shrugged, attempting nonchalance. "It has not been too long."

I frowned weakly. "That bad?"

"You were cut deeply... lost a lot of blood. Saebastiia'an is still recovering from the Healing himself – his Magika and his own health were entirely drained to restore you." L'eiito's deep, dark brown eyes bored sternly into mine, framed by soft, black eyelashes that intensified just how unusually dark they appeared. "I suggest you become more adept at fighting."

"I used to be better than I am." I closed my eyes as the room began spinning, despite having not moved and remaining perfectly still, laid back on my pillows in the infirmary. "I think I have become out of practice."

"I cannot disagree... You have become most distracted in the last few weeks, since your cousin came to find you."

I glanced at him for a moment before turning my head and silently looking away. I hated being reminded that I was constantly lying to my best friend.

"I still wish she hadn't done that," I told him quietly. "I'm better off without my family."

L'eiito leaned forward in his chair, his elbows resting on his lap, his expression grim and serious at my words. "Any family is better than none, Ana. How can you wish away the one family member willing to come and find you?"

"Because I never, ever wanted them to."

Sighing sadly, I wondered why he kept pressing this issue. L'eiito and I had first bonded over the fact we were both without family. He had told me early on that he had lost his family, had grown up on the streets and struggled to survive day to day. By chance, not long before I came to it, he had been brought to the Coven for sanctuary. He had no one but the Coven – his family was now here, and this was the only real home he'd ever had.

I knew little of any life he had prior to living on the streets, predominantly because he remembered little of it himself. What he had told me was that he remembered living with people who embraced his Magika powers and predominantly spoke in the Old Language, the Language of the Ancients – the original language of Mages. It was a beautiful language that had not been used for many Ages and it was rare for it to be fluently and constantly spoken now, but L'eiito had kept it up and quite often slipped back into what was presumably his own mother-tongue. It was usually a beautiful thing to hear, especially with his low and sultry voice – although most of what was thrown at me was usually either expletives or their close relatives, grumbled out in exasperation at something or other I had done. Or not done.

Sadly, this language was the only connection he had ever had to whomever he was before. He told me he had been left alone to fend for himself in Khaer'ystell and simply became a street urchin, struggling as a homeless pauper until he was found by the Coven when he was a grown man. My life, in comparison, was such a stark contrast it was humbling. In fact, I had never been able to bring myself to quite tell him the whole truth about it. I was an orphan, that much was true. I was fifteen when my parents were killed in what could only be described as a very questionable… accident. It was then that I was taken in by my mother's brother and his family. My aunt and uncle raised me as their own – even formally adopted me – but I did not appreciate the life or home they provided. Unable to overcome my grief for my parents, I ran away a few years later. I was a Mage and an orphan… and I did not know what to think or do about it. After spending quite some time roaming about, I came to the Coven and I found a new family. Then, quite suddenly, my old one came looking and found me.

Perhaps I might not have been so quick to abscond from home if Mages were given the respect – the reverence – they deserved. But they were no longer "in fashion" with the Nobility, thus Mages were generally shunned by the very humans that they had been brought to Faeh'rron to protect. Somehow, over the last century or so, it had become to be seen an unsightly and unwelcome faux-pas in this kingdom, an unfortunate twist of nature, a birth defect best kept a secret. Something to be highly ashamed of. Mage children in Narayya'an were given away to Covens at a very early age, subsequently ignored and disowned by the family who had just left them there.

My family has not been so – they had embraced me for everything I was. Yet, I still ran away from them. I wasn't really allowed to be publicly acknowledged as a Mage and I resented the fact. I also wasn't willing to accept how lucky I was they wanted me regardless – given my parents had been killed, I felt I was not lucky at all. But then I met L'eiito and realised how much worse it could have been.

Two weeks ago, I had been found by my cousin, and my adopted sister, En'nii. She was the same age as me, the only daughter of my aunt and uncle. Once, she had even once been my best friend. Somehow, she had managed to track me down, and I was suddenly faced with a past, a family, and a secret I had never wanted to acknowledge again. Every day En'nii was back in my life, the more likely the danger it was going to be found out, and I did not want to see my friends' reactions or bear the consequences of them discovering it. More than anything, they were going to be very upset I had kept my secret from them in the first place.

I sighed and looked back at L'eiito, wondering what he would make of me if he knew. I decided it was best not thinking about it and hope that I never had to find out.

"You should rest now." L'eiito leaned forward, reached out and squeezed my hand warmly. "En'nii is on her way. We thought that she ought to know what happened."

I paled more than I already was. "You shouldn't have done that."

"Saebastiia'an insisted. Although I suspect it is because he wished to see her, rather than from any inclination to do the right thing."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. Once En'nii knew, my aunt and uncle would know, and then they would worry. I hated thinking of them worrying. They could use it as leverage to order me back. Unfortunately, Saebastiia'an had quite clearly set his sights on my beautiful cousin and always made every effort to be in her company if he could, which also seemed included worrying her for no real reason – as well as jeopardising my freedom to remain here at the Coven.

It was at that moment there was a knock on the door. L'eiito let go of my hand and called for whoever it was to come in. Saebastiia'an and En'nii entered and I wished I could crawl under my bed and hide. I really didn't want to see her.

"Hello, beautiful," Saebastiia'an smiled at me with clear relief and care, coming towards me and kissing me on gently my forehead. He pressed his palm to my cheek and leaned his forehead on mine for a moment. "I'm glad to see you're finally awake."

"Yes, thanks to you," I replied warmly, taking his hand. I noticed he still looked ill and weak himself from carrying out the Healing, and the long, black Mage's cassock he wore looked a little loose on him.

"Just so you know I accept food, cakes, and precious gems as payment." Saebastiia'an grinned at me before moving back, squeezing my hand before letting it go. He patted L'eiito firmly on the shoulder and moved out of the way for En'nii to come to see me.

"What are you doing to yourself, Ana?" she said softly, shaking her head and putting her hand on my shoulder. Her pretty, yet plain, floor-length dress looked well-worn and slept in, and was unravelling on one of the sleeves, where she had clearly been pulling at the frilled cuffs of the chemise beneath, loosening the threads in anxiety. "How is this a better life for you than being home?"

I looked back at her earnest face and I had to turn away. Sighing, I stared off at a far wall and did not answer for a while.

"At least it is my life," I said quietly. "It was not chosen for me by anyone else."

I noticed Saebastiia'an and L'eiito look exchange slipping out. I was left alone with my cousin, adopted sister, and former best friend. En'nii sat in the chair L'eiito had vacated and leaned back, pushing back her long, pale blonde hair and staring at me with those piercing green eyes that could never quite decide whether they wanted to be lighter, brilliant emerald or deep, darker jade.

"Are you always going to run away from your family?" she heatedly berated. "Is it really so bad, you willingly risk your life every day you remain here? You very nearly died, Ana!"

I scowled heatedly – this was not what I needed after coming out of a two-day coma. Certainly not from someone I had deliberately spent the better part of a decade hiding away from. "And yet, you think it is fine for the other people here to live this way? You are not lecturing them."

En'nii sighed. Lowering and calming her tone, she shook her head despondently. "I did not mean that, and you know it very well. It's just that they are not my sister. The sister I want brought home."

"It wasn't home. It stopped being home without my own parents there to make it so."

"Your family didn't abandon you, so why did you abandon us?"

I looked away. "I wanted more than looking like a doll and pretending that I wasn't a Mage."

"Ana, we didn't…" En'nii sighed more and rubbed at her forehead dejectedly. "That was not what we wanted from you. And despite that is what you claim, even now you are still pretending to be something you are not. You might be a Mage here, Ana, but you are still denying part of who you are – still pretending you are someone you're not! They do not even know, and they're supposed to be your friends." She indicated the door, meaning Saebastiia'an and L'eiito. "I would have assumed you at least would have told L'eiito, of all people."

I squeezed my eyes shut. I hadn't wanted anyone to know – I hadn't wanted to be judged. I hadn't wanted to even remember about it. A they became my friends, and then family over time, it then became too late to admit the truth. The fact I hadn't told my best friend – the person I told everything else to – weighed on me the most.

"It's too late now," I said softly. "They don't need to know either, because I'm not going back."

There was another knock on the door. This time it was Casapiia'an Dae'Carrison, Saebastiia'an's twin and absolute mirror image. He was the head of the clinic and infirmary, and the one to obey regarding the strict rules of recovery in here. He had come to shoo out my visitor, so I could rest. With one look at him, En'nii rose and left without another word.

Casapiia'an watched her leave before coming over to me. He put his hand on my brow to check for fever and made me have more water.

"What is it about her that makes you so upset?" he asked kindly. "You are never happy when she is around."

I looked up at him, that same ethereally beautiful face and same mesmerising turquoise eyes as his brother, and I wished dearly I could tell someone about what really troubled me, but I could not. Despite his kind, soft eyes and understanding smile, I could not tell him - nor a single other person. Not even the most trustworthy non-judgmental person in the entire world, which is precisely what Casapiia'an was.

Instead of really explaining, I released a long sigh. "There is a reason I ran away, and because of that I do not wish to go back. Naturally, that is precisely what she wants me to do."

"I can understand..." Casapiia'an sat on the edge of the bed and took my hand with care. He looked at me with sympathy. "I think I would feel the same way if anyone from my old home came to try and convince me to return, too."

I nodded in understanding. Saebastiia'an and Casapiia'an Dae'Carrisson were the youngest twin sons of a prominent aristocratic house of Earra'al, given away at a very young age to the Coven because they were not welcome in their own family. The Nobility of Narayya'an did not look kindly on Magika anymore, and many children were quickly given away as soon as their Magika showed. Their father was just such a man.

"Unfortunately, our father was only interested in his wealth and standing and keeping up appearances at the Royal Court than being a true father," Casapiia'an said quietly. "He was a Noble Lord with an heir, and we were nothing but an embarrassing inconvenience. I don't think anything would convince me to return."

"I was never rejected for being a Mage," I admitted. "Although I was... encouraged to keep it to myself. I quickly became tired of living that lie."

"We are all glad you are here, Ana." Casapiia'an then smiled slyly. "Some more than others, I expect."

I raised an amused eyebrow. "Oh? Who would be those 'some' then? I dearly hope you're not referring to your brother..."

Casapiia'an chuckled lightly at the smart quip. "My brother loves you deeply, in his own strange way, which is nothing of that sort – as you are well aware, sugar." He brushed hair from my face and took my hand, squeezing it warmly. "We both know his dedicated flirting and teasing shows the extent of his deeply unwavering affection for you, and you always shall be his one and only love of that kind."

"I am intrigued to know if it is you who you speak of, then," I teased him in return. "Not you, surely!"

I received a snort and a wry laugh for my mocking. Casapiia'an's affection for me was exactly the same as Seb's and I knew perfectly well it wasn't him either. He then cocked his head to one side and gave a me a piercing stare with those same familiar aquamarine eyes as his brother. Same eyes, same stare.

"Amusing. You know precisely who I mean."

I did know. But... I really didn't want to admit it. Casapiia'an shook his head at my silence.

"It has already been more than three years. I do not understand why you keep this to yourself and make nothing more of it." He cocked his head questioningly, eyebrows raised as if expecting an actual answer. None was forthcoming, so he went on. "You two are closer than any of us are, and it's quite clear that both of you think very highly of each other and share a unique bond. He didn't leave you for a moment from the second Saebastiia'an healed you – he point-blank refused to and sat in that chair for two days straight. His affection for you and dedication is admirable."

I smiled a little at the thought of L'eiito. He infuriated me, baffled me, and made me feel like I belonged here. I didn't think I could expect anything more from him, though. We were very close – best friends – but I was fairly certain that was where it also ended, and the line was drawn.

Casapiia'an didn't press it issue any further. Instead, he patted my arm and rose to leave. Opening the door, he was immediately faced with none other than L'eiito himself. He was about to argue that he was not to come in, but the cold glare L'eiito shot at him instantly had him shift to one side so he could pass to come and see me.

Casapiia'an raised his eyebrows and threw me a sly wink as he left my side to allow L'eiito to take his place.

"En'nii and Saebastiia'an seem quite happy to speak with each other again," L'eiito said with a twitch of a half-smile, as he sat next to me on the bed. He took my hand in his and brushed hair away from my face with the other that continued to fall into my eyes. "I shall return in the morning. I hope you will be adequately rested by then."

"Stay," I implored impetuously, squeezing his hand. His dark and intense eyes flickered to mine for just a moment.

"Of course, if you so wish it." He gently stroked the back of my hand with his thumb, his eyes lingering on our hands thoughtfully. "We nearly lost you... Please do not ever do that again."

I looked back at him guiltily. "I'm sorry."

He glanced up and those intense black eyes bore into mine sharply. "You should be."

I scooted over and patted the narrow space next to me. L'eiito took the offer and lay on the bed, settling himself back on the elevated pillows next to me and lacing his fingers on his stomach. His shoulder and arm pressed firmly into me as he stared up at the ceiling.

"I didn't thank you," I said quietly, also staring up. "You came and was able to get me back in time. As much as I am grateful to Saebastiia'an, it was you who really saved me by getting me to him so quickly."

L'eiito turned his head towards me. We were nearly nose-to-nose as I turned to look back, hoping he could see in my expression how very grateful I was to him.

"You can only imagine how thankful I am that you are now recovering, instead of being placed into the ground." His eyes held a pained sadness to them that made me feel all the worse. "I do not have many friends – I certainly do not have enough to lose my favourite."

"I cannot imagine I'm your favourite anymore, if you're so angry with me."

L'eiito finally smiled. It was a slight one, but a smile nonetheless. "No, you are still my favourite. No one else I know is as stubborn or fearless as you are, so willing to fight and stand up for what you believe in, or to save another. It is as if you have something to prove, but no one knows what, so we cannot appreciate what you keep fighting for."

"I think it's something that runs in the family," I said, my voice finding difficulty saying the words aloud. "My uncle is the same... My mother was, too."

"Whatever it is that haunts you, I wish you would put it to bed before it gets you killed. You came too close this time, Ana."

I said nothing, because he was right. As always, he seemed to know precisely what I was doing, what I thought, and what troubled me. However, I did not know how to put it to bed. I turned on my side and moved closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes, wondering if that day would ever come.